On May 26, 2020, I saw the video people had been talking about on FB. I was purposely trying to avoid seeing or really even hearing that video. I remember I was on FB using my phone. The video automatically started playing and the volume was on when I usually have it muted for all FB videos. I watched that 8 minutes and 46 seconds long video with the volume on. The more I saw and heard the madder I got. I started out concerned, then I got angry, by the end of the video I was downright mad!! I had just watch a Black man murdered by police!! Unjustly so. What made me so mad?!!?? The officer now identified, arrested, charged, convicted, and now a three time convicted felon named Chauvin dig his knee further into George Floyd’s (GF) neck because as a Black man later identified as a Martial Artist Specialist, Mr. Williams begged for him to get his knee out of GF’s neck. To me that showed WILLFUL INTENT!!

Chauvin may not have went to the scene with the intent to commit murder but once there and GF was on the ground begging for some mercy and for someone to show him some form of human compassion, Chauvin repeatedly denied his request. Even after being told a pulse could not be felt, Chauvin did not take his knee off of GF’s neck. I was so mad. I was mad at the fact that GF was gone, I was mad to see a Black man begging for his life to someone who was supposed to help him. I was mad at the officer but more importantly I was mad at the system that made a White man like Chauvin believe that he could treat a Black man in such a way and truly believe he would not face any consequences for his actions. As mad, hurt and disappointed as I was, not one tear fell. I was just too mad to cry knowing what the outcome already was, there wasn’t anything I could do but pray that one of two things to happen. Pray that somehow GF’s mom never, not even in court see that video of her child begging and pleading for his life, calling out to her and knowing there wasn’t anything she could do to help him. Or two, she’s already gone.

On that ground, in distress GF looked older that he was. Even tho I believed he was older than me, it still enraged my soul hearing him crying out for his mama as he begged for his life. Said goodbye by telling his children he loved him. When GF said, “I’m through” he truly believed he wasn’t going to survive. Sadly, he was right.

Yesterday, WOW, YESTERDAY?!!? What a day that turned out to be huh. I was sitting in the living room with the TV off. My mom, she’s 92 so she plays her TV loud. Even still I had for the most part tuned it out. Then I said what did they say, did they just say the jury has reached a verdict??!?? So I got up went to her doorway. I found the remote to the satellite, that had been missing for days. Now I gotta find it! It was in the reclining chair I had searched several times before but obviously not that good. So I immediately go to BNC, Black News Channel. Channel 360 on Dish Network and if you have the ethernet plugged in you can get 361 which is much clearer but its a streaming channel so the quality of your internet service will decide how good it works. I anxiously an impatiently waited for the verdict to be read. Finally they come in, 2 counts guilty. My daughter walks up to me saying something, I held my pointer finger up, motioning to her to hold on. 3rd count GUILTY!!!! GUILTY, he was found GUILTY FOR ALL OF IT!!

I never allowed myself to accept that as a possibility. I know what I saw, but it was about what the jury would understand and take away from it all. At BEST, I told my family we as a community, most likely gonna have to accept Manslaughter, IF THAT with no more than a 5-7 year sentence. Chauvin was found GUILTY OF ALL THREE COUNTS, all I could do was say YES, YES, YES, YES, each YES getting louder than the one prior. Then out of NOWEHRE to my surprise, the tears!! I had no control of them, an I couldn’t stop them. The tears rolled, the YES’s continued, I was pumping my fist looking across to the dining room out the window towards the sky with a smile on my face. Chauvin was on trial, and he was PRESUMED INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY, GF WAS MURDERED, AND HE WAS SEEN AS GUILTY IN HIS OWN MURDER TIL he was PROVEN INNOCENT.

I know we have FAR more to do, we have MUCH FURTHER WE NEED TO GO! Nonetheless, this verdict is for so many of our people who didn’t get justice. So I say to my people an everyone else, let us have this moment ok. My people an others tried to get me to condemn those who were burning down buildings and looting, I wouldn’t!! I absolutely refused to do so. Not because I agreed with the actions because I didn’t. I felt, that hurt us more than anyone else. but I understood their pain, I understood their rage. I just dealt with mines differently. My only concern/issue is don’t let what others do to us, be an excuse/cause for us to harm us. I don’t celebrate 420 like most do, I celebrate it with my mom, who at the age of 70, on 4/20/99 survived a heart attack that the ER Doc said most women don’t. Now I have another reason to celebrate 420. April 20, 2021 George Floyd was vindicated and Derek Chauvin who claimed he acted in the line of duty was found guilty for the heinous murder of George Floyd.

In closing, Be Careful my Beautiful Brothas and Sistas! Keep your phones Charged and your eyes open and learn your rights.